I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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