Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
