What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize