I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
