Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I love having hate sex.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.