Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.