That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
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how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
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I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.