Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina