distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
