I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
