His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
