"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize