So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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