i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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