just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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