accomplished twins. life is a go
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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