Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
