Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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