Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
