What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
