At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life