You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
actually, I'm a sock model
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
What drink are we having for lunch?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
