im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
