I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
