i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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