I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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