are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
