The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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