I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
