I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
