I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
