We got so high we made milksteak
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
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