His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Dear god my vagina.
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