capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
