It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just gargled with NyQuil
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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