i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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