There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You are a genius and a whore.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
