Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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