i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I came so hard my ears popped.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
