are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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