final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
3 2 1 whiskey
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize
