So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize