Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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