this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she told me i tasted like america
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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