apparently the secret to your success is patron
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
