its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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