My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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