I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
