So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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