why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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