She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You're a waste of cheezeits
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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