ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
