Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
