no, he came in my armpit
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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