You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
