Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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