i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Holy shit dude........stairs
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
