I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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