Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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