Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
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I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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