THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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