you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize