I'm jealous of your bromance
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
