This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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