My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
